Last night, Airlie began the LYM2012 challenge with a meditation session - there was about 15 of us in the "moon room" I think she calls it, and we sat there in silence as she explained the 7 pillars of Moksha and what they could mean to her and/or us. Once we finished the 30 minutes of meditation, which was absolutely delightful, (especially with Airlie's way with words and the fact she was away for the past several months...okay, a week, but it felt like forever! It was great to have her wisdom back again to share with us) she asked us to write down which pillar meant the most to us and what we hope to accomplish from this 7 week challenge or what really stood out during our meditation sesh. hmmm...I sat there, and watched as people wrote away and all I could get on my paper was "letting go" I really couldn't think of anything else - nothing! That's it, I may not even know what I am letting go of, but I know it needs to be done or I am not going to be able to move on. So, I then wrote Be Peace, because if I want to let go, then Be Peace is the pillar that means the most to me during this challenge. Because Peace = Free. Alright, good. Share? no thanks! (I'll blog it later, lol) Some people did share though, and the guy next to me said his pillar was "Be Healthy" because he wanted to start eliminating sugars and other things out of his diet and become a cleaner eater, then he proceeded to say that Be Peace would be the last one he would focus on because he is at peace and is completely content... I said there in awh - I'm sure my jaw dropped a little as I was thinking "wow! that must be freakin' amazing? to be at peace with yourself? Way to friggin' go!" I was so absolutely jealous of him in that moment, and I guess a part of me still is. I hope sooner than later, I will be able to relate to him and I'll "Be Peace". I also know jealousy isn't a good thing - but really! I have no choice in the matter!
It was a beautiful day which got me in the mood for some spring cleaning...no toxins or chemicals, no problem - I came across this beauty!
The wipeandglow reusable chemical-free, paper-free cleaning rag! All you need to do is rinse it with water and clean away, it worked like a dream! PLUS - once you finish, you throw 'er in the wash and then you are free to use it again! day 2 challenge - complete!
I ended up with the afternoon free, so I hit up my noon cardio-kickboxing class, went for coffee with a friend - and got a GD parking ticket! ughk - expensive coffee!
I'll tell ya, my class today was pretty intense and we used weights so my body was likely wishing for rest, but every other part of me was wishing for yoga - clearly I went to the 2pm Moksha class and I feel like the whole time I was wishing we were done of the standing series, but due to my ridiculous ego - I don't usually, if ever give up. As per the weekly challenge of "Be Healthy" ...I got thinking that it could also mean being compassionate to your body, because listening to the body is a main factor in ones health. As I was toppling in my tree, I put my foot down to meet the other and lifted my left hand in the air to prepare myself for Dancer's...my whole body was strength-less, I had nothing left to give, and I was thinking "shit, shit shit, now what? I got to do this...you can do it, do it!" BUT, honestly, if I had have attempted to pick my right foot up with my hand, I would have completely face-planted myself onto my mat, so I put my ego on the sideline and stood in tadasana for both sides of dancers, and it was probably one of the smartest decisions I made today, or this week for that matter. Finally, grab a drink of water and lay on your back for mid-savasana...ahhh, beauty! I can get through this...then BAM! lets do 10 leg lifts and a minute of yoga bicycle - holy shiz Kenny! phewf - thats over! spine strengthening - my fave! cobra, and then cobra again - but this time my feet were being held down and I was lifted right off the ground! nice! okay - almost done! A couple flows, some reclining hero, and twist, and we're good to go! By this time, I'm spent but most instructors do 3-5 flows for this portion of class so I tell myself I can do it and it's all okay.....we start with 3 modified flows, then move onto 3 regular flows, take downward dog - ahhh deep breath, come on to our knees? NOPE! He proceeds to tell us to take a deep breath and continue with 3 more flows, pretty sure I said "holy %^&*" out loud! I was thinking "is he %^&*ing crazy right now?" BUT! with my type-A personality (as I had learnt from a previous instructor) I managed those 3 flows, and I was never so GD happy to hear "childs pose!" Borderline music to my ears at this point! Next up, 415 Hatha with Airlie. Each month she chooses a new pose to focus on and she teaches it twice a week. I call this play-yoga, it is always fun, the room isn't necessarily silent, and you usually bend and twist your body in ways you never thought were possible, I often wonder how Airlie even comes up with some of her itinerary's for these classes!
For the month of May, Airlie asked me to pick the "posture of the month" and I willingly chose wheel, a pose I cannot do but would like to learn.
I must have been drunk when I picked that pose, about 3 minutes into class I looked around and wondered if I could change my choice to savasana? or downward dog? or...twists? Who the heck wants to spend the next month doing heart openers...eeeek! Not to mention, I'm completely open from the 2pm class, let alone through me into 1 hour of heart openers, how much more vulnerable can a girl get?
I was sitting there on my block, completely petrified, wanting to literally walk out of the room and thinking to myself how I can tell Airlie that I will not be attending anymore hatha classes this month, and GD it's only May 2nd...that means we still have like 4 weeks of this! aaaaaaaaaahhh!! Maybe, I can schedule myself to work on those days? haha, that's a good excuse right?
And so it begins... I apologized to everyone in advance, and we started opening the heart, cobra, twists, and bridge...honestly I thought I was either going to completely break down or fly right off my mat in a sudden outrage, but not of anger, an outrage of open-ness and this feeling of vulnerability that became far too overwhelming...
After 3 bridges, I was more open than 24 hours of hip openers and that's when the dreaded words came out of her month ....pair up and do wheel. ummm...I can't? I'll pair up, sure! But do wheel, are you crazy? My arms aren't going to hold up this fatty...
To the front of the room I go, my partner was holding onto my ankles, pulled herself up into wheel and I held her shoulder blades up...AMAZING! wow! oooh how I wish I could do that! Next, my turn, I lay on my back, put my feet hip width apart, lifted my hips - and that was as far as I could go...how the heck do these people pull themselves up? It's absolutely impossible! Airlie comes over, tells me to grip my partners ankles and start lifting...Well holy sweet dying &*%^ ...I'm in wheel, and I can see myself hanging upside down in the mirror...I was smiling ear to ear, pretty sure I even laughed, I felt like a bat - hanging from a tree, just.....hangin'! AMAZING! I came down and had to just lay there for a minute, I couldn't friggen believe it, I, Jenny Gilbert, was just in wheel! Non-scale victory? Fu*k- I'd imagine! But once we were done, I seriously just wanted to be in wheel again - what a feeling! SO FREE!
After 3 bridges, I was more open than 24 hours of hip openers and that's when the dreaded words came out of her month ....pair up and do wheel. ummm...I can't? I'll pair up, sure! But do wheel, are you crazy? My arms aren't going to hold up this fatty...
To the front of the room I go, my partner was holding onto my ankles, pulled herself up into wheel and I held her shoulder blades up...AMAZING! wow! oooh how I wish I could do that! Next, my turn, I lay on my back, put my feet hip width apart, lifted my hips - and that was as far as I could go...how the heck do these people pull themselves up? It's absolutely impossible! Airlie comes over, tells me to grip my partners ankles and start lifting...Well holy sweet dying &*%^ ...I'm in wheel, and I can see myself hanging upside down in the mirror...I was smiling ear to ear, pretty sure I even laughed, I felt like a bat - hanging from a tree, just.....hangin'! AMAZING! I came down and had to just lay there for a minute, I couldn't friggen believe it, I, Jenny Gilbert, was just in wheel! Non-scale victory? Fu*k- I'd imagine! But once we were done, I seriously just wanted to be in wheel again - what a feeling! SO FREE!
There it is, my escape to freedom, wheel! I can't wait for the next hatha class...if I'm working, I'm calling in sick ;) haha...see what 45 minutes can do to a person!? I probably could have ran a marathon after that class, holy energy!
But instead, I changed and went to the 530 yin class...
5 minute poses, some props, and a blanket...hellllllo beauty! WRONG!! Lets see, 5 minute dragon? I was so annoyed about a minute into that I had no idea how I was going to manage getting through another 4...I swear I could have been breathing fire at that moment, I was so worked up - and they say pigeon is emotional? I could have kissed Airlie when she said 4 and half minutes are up....30 seconds to go! THANK GOD! oooh, but we have another side... I get into the pose and all of this anger built up, I swear my hands could have ripped my mat in two, the fire inside was burning, now wonder they call it dragon! DING! phewf- done! hmm...maybe we'll do reclining hero? please please please....NOPE! Pigeon, PIGEON?! Are you serious right now, do you know what you're doing to me right now! All I kept saying to myself, if you get through this...savasana will be waiting for you, just keep on keeping on! By this time, I'm counting the poses by 5, to see how much time we have left, I'm at 35 minutes.......cripes, we still have like 5 poses to go! Anyways...I made it, and of course, Savasana was absolutely amazing and of course - I was so zenned out that I barely had a memory of what that class had actually done to me, other than leaving me in this state of being and how fantastic (and exhausted) I actually felt! Who couldn't use a little yin in their life? I mean really, once you get past the fight, and the anger, and the vulnerability....you've let go of so much that the end result was completely worth that 60 minute battle you had with your own self.
Wow...I'm wordy tonight! My apologies!
5 minute poses, some props, and a blanket...hellllllo beauty! WRONG!! Lets see, 5 minute dragon? I was so annoyed about a minute into that I had no idea how I was going to manage getting through another 4...I swear I could have been breathing fire at that moment, I was so worked up - and they say pigeon is emotional? I could have kissed Airlie when she said 4 and half minutes are up....30 seconds to go! THANK GOD! oooh, but we have another side... I get into the pose and all of this anger built up, I swear my hands could have ripped my mat in two, the fire inside was burning, now wonder they call it dragon! DING! phewf- done! hmm...maybe we'll do reclining hero? please please please....NOPE! Pigeon, PIGEON?! Are you serious right now, do you know what you're doing to me right now! All I kept saying to myself, if you get through this...savasana will be waiting for you, just keep on keeping on! By this time, I'm counting the poses by 5, to see how much time we have left, I'm at 35 minutes.......cripes, we still have like 5 poses to go! Anyways...I made it, and of course, Savasana was absolutely amazing and of course - I was so zenned out that I barely had a memory of what that class had actually done to me, other than leaving me in this state of being and how fantastic (and exhausted) I actually felt! Who couldn't use a little yin in their life? I mean really, once you get past the fight, and the anger, and the vulnerability....you've let go of so much that the end result was completely worth that 60 minute battle you had with your own self.
Wow...I'm wordy tonight! My apologies!
I recieved a surprise Buddha charm for my pandora bracelet as I entered the studio this evening from a fellow Mokshie, how thoughtful of her to think of me! XO!
JG OUT!
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